As the days and weeks stretch long in front of us and the Covid-19 crisis denies us the simple reassurance of an end-date, you, like me, begin to feel it. That familiar urge, indulged by teenagers, mid-life-crisis-sufferers, college students, recent divorcees, and a handful of really cool retired people, the urge to change, possibly drastically, your hair color. And I mean really change it. Not go from Light copper Blonde to Light Auburn, but from blonde to black, brown to green, or really any of the color equivalents of getting bangs (more on this later).
There are a handful of reasons why you are contemplating it right this second. The ones that run through your head probably are along the lines of
"who cares right now, its not like I'm going to see anyone who will judge me"
"its now or never the world is insane right now anyway"
And that old classic "I just feel like I need a change."
And here in this age-old (okay so maybe like the last 50 years since hair dye became a big thing) excuse that I think the deeper sirens song can be found. Amid a global pandemic, with bad news and conflicting reports on what you should and shouldn't be doing, with so much of our lives, businesses, jobs, and even parenting choices way out of the realm of our control, we need a change. More importantly we need to personally be responsible for that change. We feel the need to make a change and it needs to be one we can SEE. When you dye your hair you are showing yourself clearly and without the possibility for argument, that you have control over yourself, that you are in some way, ANY way still the master of your fate and the captain of your soul.
We drastically change our appearance to feel that we still have agency in a world that is so much out of our control right now. That is why teenagers dye their hair or get tattoos "take that mom and dad, I'm in charge of me."
Now am I here to say that all hair color choices are cries for help, god no. They sometimes are, and often it is the more drastic choices that speak to pivotal points in life. And here is the other thing, it works. No you don't come out of the salon a new person (despite maybe wanting to), but you do have a little piece of wanting to be shiny and new, proving you are still driving this bus, "I can change my own life" that stares you in the face every time you walk by something shiny.
I have made a big change to my hair 3 times in my life. Once as a freshman in college, because I was never allowed to dye my hair as a teenager (brown to blond for research on if they have more fun). Once when I moved to Alaska by myself the summer after my freshman year to work in an aquarium (Cut short to work with all the hiking I was doing and back to brown because I needed to stop being so overdramatic). And once during the hardest summer of my life, when I was coming to terms with the fact that I was burning myself up with overachieving and anxiety (brown to red). Each time there was something going on in my life that I was growing and changing and I wasn't going to understand it for awhile but I needed to see it. I needed to see every time that I looked in the mirror, that I was growing into the person I was becoming, AND that I was AN ACTIVE CHOOSER in the process, that I had agency, choice, power, control over myself.
We never really have power over our lives, being stuck inside because of a virus is as strong a reminder of that as we could possibly ask for. We don't control the world, or our politicians, or our children/spouses/pets/roommates. We can't change so much of our environments right now. Our options are in so many ways limited. We don't have control over what happens to us right now. The only thing we can control is what we CHOOSE TO DO.
So go dye your hair. In the work of an afternoon, you can show yourself plain and simple that you are still in charge of you. Every time you walk past a mirror you will be reminded that you can still change your life.
But there are a few very important rules
If you have never dyed your own hair start simple and watch a few Brad Mondo videos on Youtube (he is a hairdresser and has lots of good info). You can also achieve the same I'm in charge feeling with a color depositing conditioner or temporary dye (It won't last as long but it is harder to screw up) Be smart and for god's sake buy an eyebrow pencil to match your new hair color.
Be changed. You changed your hair to show yourself that you have the power to change yourself. So let your new locks be a reminder to you to be the person you want to be. You create yourself and you chose the look you chose because of the person you want to be. If you brightened up your hair because you have been down in the dumps every time you walk past a mirror is a reminder to ditch the bad news online, smile more, complain less, call a friend and tell jokes, play with a pet, kiss your significant other (or pets), and be the brighter version of you.
So there it is, that is why you (or at least I) want to dye my hair in the middle of a pandemic. For further fun (and heavily leaning on stereotypes), I will now outline the reasons behind/effects of the particular color you want to dye your hair.
What the Color You Want to Dye Your Hair Tells You About How You Want to Change AND What You Should Actually do to Change Your Life
Blond
(Or simply going lighter in whatever your natural hair color is)
Blond is the classic choice of those looking for youth, beauty, and light in their lives. We dye our hair blond because we need a little bit of light and lift in your life. Maybe you've been down in the dumps, feeling frumpy in your sweats, or just can't stand a moment more of winter. You want to lift your spirits so you lift a little pigment out of your hair. Golden tones are my favorite for a little homemade sunshine. Beware of going Platinum that could betray a deep cry for help and/or unrealistic standards (in general or in beauty) also it’s a bitch to maintain and you can't see a hairdresser right now.
Spend more time outside. Not only will the tan nicely match your highlights, you will sunshine needed to lift your spirits
Ditch the bad news. If there is something really important you need to know your mom will call you. Otherwise, stay away from the media (social and news).
Workout. Your summery locks will match a new bikini body and way more importantly the endorphins will help you kick the blues
Stop complaining. Stop comparing. Stop beating yourself up. You are a bright and sunny person now, its time to work on the voice inside and outside your head. Speak only kindness to yourself and others.
Laugh more. Tell more jokes. Watch more comedies. Call people who put a smile on your face.
Black
(or going darker in whatever your natural hair color is)
If you are going darker its because its time to get back to business. You added those highlights for your college years because you wanted to be fun, but now its time to show yourself that you are serious, that you are out to do something important in the world. We go darker when we are in a time in our lives that we need to go deeper, be introspective, work on something, or learn something. Beware going all the way to black if you have lighter hair, going deeper does not mean you need to have a goth phase and box black can turn out like you are trying to prove you are "deeper than thou" plus it kinds looks like you colored your hair in with sharpies.
Reflection is the name of the game, but let's keep it productive and channeled so it doesn't turn into moping. Find a means of expression and self-exploration. Maybe start a blog…..or a podcast…..
Make friends that make you better (not friends who make you more pretentious). Find people to discuss the things you care about with. Get lively dialogue into your life. Solitude is not a prerequisite for growth
Dive into your career. Right now the professional world seems to be on hold, but there is still a lot you can do. Brainstorm ways you can grow and position yourself to be invaluable to your company or customers as the world navigates everything going on now
Connect with your mission and vision in life. Don't get bogged down in making it THE one and only vision for your life. Your vision for right now is just fine.
Learn something. Read something. Explore something. Now is the time to grow. To read those books that have been piling up, to take that online course, to pick up the guitar again.
Brunette
(or returning back to natural colors when you have been in the land of "fun" colors)
If you are going from black to brunette, see Blond. If you are going blond to brunette see Black. If you are going red to brown or to brown after being in a fun color, read on.
Going brunette is going home for many of us (it is my natural hair color and probably most of yours). Going brown is about grounding. We dye our hair brown (or return to brown) because we need to come back down to earth, to remember our roots (pun intended), to find some equilibrium. Brunette is the most low-maintenance color, sometimes you don't have to do any maintenance at all. We go brown for the same reason we go visit our parents when we are overwhelmed. It is familiar and homey and we are comfortably ourselves there. Going brown often means you have survived whatever challenge made you want to dye your hair blue (insert life choices here) and are looking for equilibrium and a sustainable way forward. Brunette helps you find a way forward taking who you were and who you are becoming and meshing them into one human. It is not boring. It is one of the most crucial processes of self-development.
Journal. A lot. What have you learned in your life? Start your memoir. We don't find ourselves, we create ourselves. Document some of that creation.
Connect with family and old friends. Reconnect with people you haven't talked to for years. Build bridges in your life.
Spend time and energy on people less fortunate than you. Volunteer. Get involved in aid organizations. Build your compassion and perspective.
Take stock of yourself. Reinvention does not involve throwing out everything from the original invention, just tweaking. What do you want to actively cultivate in yourself? What habits do you want to maintain, add, and subtract.
Nest. Create the home environment that you want to live in.
Do some grounding yoga (yin yoga is great for that)
Red
Red hair is the rarest color naturally occurring on the planet. We go red to stand out. Going red is about special snowflake syndrome. I have been a redhead for almost 4 years and it is largely because red hair with my blue eyes is the rarest combination on the planet. Red hair makes you feel unique and exotic. We chose red hair to feel sexy and rare. Red is passionate and outspoken and loud. Red says clearly that we are powerful and opinionated. We choose red when we are ready to break out of our shells and own our power. The choice of a natural red color proclaims us to be diplomatic in our power and less inclined to shout it from the rooftops. A red-red definitely not natural red is power with a megaphone; choose this if you have ever had your power taken from you and want to grasp it back with two hands. A word to the wise, red-red hair is a STATEMENT in capital letters and can verge on predatory.
Cut or repair broken and uneven relationships. Put the work into the ones worth saving and politely severe the ones that can't or shouldn't be saved
Be sexy. Wear satin lingerie just for yourself (all by yourself). Experiment in the bedroom. Just have fun in the bedroom. Eat chocolate. Do whatever it is that makes YOU feel sexy (it doesn't have to be "traditionally sexy" and it is not for anyone else. It is for you.
Speak your truth. Express what you feel has been unexpressed. No need to shout, the hair is loud enough on its own.
Do something that makes you feel like you. That makes you feel powerful and in your element (I personally love using power tools. It makes me feel like a badass).
Seek out mentors that you aspire to be like. Being unique does not mean you can't learn from others.
As we enter the exotic colors remember all exotic colors mark being "different" in some way.
Blue
Blue is all about identity. Most people I have ever met with blue hair keep it blue for a long time and speak about it as a cornerstone of identity. A popular favorite among the queer community, like all bold colors this is a statement and the statement is "I am who I am". Blue is unapologetic in all shades. We choose blue when it is time to come out of any closet (not just the gay one), when we are discovering or declaring an identity that we will own to regardless of how people react. Beware the aftereffects of blue. Blue pigment will stick around long after it is wanted. If you have any yellow in your hair you'll end up with a green tinge a la too much swimming pool chlorine
Don't apologize. For the hair, for who you are, for making people uncomfortable. Other's are uncomfortable because of who they are, not because of who you are.
Find others with blue hair. Or just others of your identity. Birds of a feather must stick together or end up as thanksgiving dinner.
Confront your fears. Come out of the closet. Tell your parents you don't want to be a lawyer. Join that weird group that plays that one game you love.
Purple
Interestingly Purple is divided. Dark purple is the same story as green (though arguably more feminine) and lavender is the same as pink
Green
(and also dark purple and hot pink)
Green is about otherness. While blue is an identity that is regardless of if you approve and hopes that someday you will, the identity of green doesn't expect you to ever approve (and maybe doesn't even want you to). Green and purple hair reminds us of Nickelodeon villains and counterculture. When you want to say a big F-you to society green is your go-to. It is hard to keep up this color just as it is hard to keep up that much rage against the machine. We pick these colors when it is time to really break out of the boxes that society has put us in. We feel like the world doesn't understand us and this is our beacon to other misfits. Go green when you want to be proud of your otherness. Beware green hair dye, it is hard to keep vibrant and also hard to get out of hair, and faded green is never cute. I never recommend green as a passing phase its just too hard. If you have something to say a nice Electric Purple will serve you just as well.
Get involved. You don't like society so spend some time working on how to fix it. Dying your hair doesn't smash the stereotypes you are trying to escape unless you do something about it. Join a political campaign, start a nonprofit, lobby congress, educate people on your perspective.
Tell your story. Make other people in your tiny niche of counter-culture feel less alone.
Be awesome. Exotic colors get a bad stereotype, but just because you have green hair doesn't mean you can't be (insert anything here), and if you are going to do it be great at it just to show them hair color doesn’t matter.
Pastel Pink
(plus lavender, silver, peach, and all the other pastels)
Pink/pastel is the new blond. Aside from being trendy and Instagram-y pastels hold sweetness, youthfulness, and prettiness in their purview. We contemplate a pastel because someone we saw on the internet has it OR because we want some of the same secret sauce as going blonder. Pastels bring light and fun and innocence back into our lives. In short, pastels make us happy. Silver is a trendy, playful take on sexiness, lavender and pink give us grown-up flower child vibes, and peach is all youthful fun and wide-eyed innocence. When life is too hard, we go pastel to find some playful joy. Beware doing this yourself. While light and fun in appearance going pastel is no joke. Only attempt to DIY if you already have light hair or are very experienced dying your own hair. You have to go very very blonde before you can put pastels on top.
Play. Board games, card games, Wii sports, hopscotch, dress up, coloring. Bring childlike playfulness into your day. Frolic.
Simplify your life. Put your bills on autopay. Get rid of the clutter in your house. Put calendar reminders in for health and car maintenance so you don't have to remember.
Stop worrying so much. Easy to say, hard to do I know but it is a terrible habit and you need to break it.
Re-watch childhood favorites. (Re-watching movies you have seen before has anxiety fighting benefits. Your brain is soothed by not having to worry about how it will end).
Sing. Comb your hair. Sprinkle birdseed around you so you can be the Disney princess you were born to be.
Thanks for Reading! I’m off to buy pink hair dye now,
~Elizabeth
Big Important Disclaimer!!!! None of this should be construed as based on psychology in any way. I am not suggesting that hair dye is a way to treat mental illness of any kind. The best medicine comes from a trained professional and taking care of yourself, your body, and your relationships.